didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
