I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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