Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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