Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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