even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
vagina is talking i cant
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
