I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
