you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize