Tell her she can't have a vagina
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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