So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
