I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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