you're like a bully in the Christmas story
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
