Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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