can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
