and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
