I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
