no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
