Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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