I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
