After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
