i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
