Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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