If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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