he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
me + whiskey = a bad person
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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