Say something about gay babies.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
