he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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