I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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