**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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