i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize