i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
two words: eviction party
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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