Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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