Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
