people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
