Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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