i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
