East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
