Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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