I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize