I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
