Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize