We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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