Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
