He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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