Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
