You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
