I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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