party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
