why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize