Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
