eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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