Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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