dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
