I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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