Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
