Don't you send me to vm
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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