So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
