3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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